Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Holy crap on a cracker...

I said I'd share, so I'll share. Now I'm really going to share.

I haven't been writing because;

1. I've had gallstone pain, and let me tell ya, it's a BIATCH!
2. My dad died. It's kinda killing me.
3. Because my dad died, I fainted few days after the funeral, hit my head and had a concussion. And I might have some heart-issues...

I mean, I really do want to write this blog. I want to have more than one reader, even tho I love that one dearly <3 I want to share my art and thoughts and maybe, just maybe, make people think or at least be entertained :)

But it has really been a hard autumn. I was already really really tired because of the gallstones. The pains started to bother me at the same time that I started to lose weight. After the first hospital trip, I read that with obeisity, losing weight can trigger the pain. The stones were probably there already, but the weight loss triggered the massive pain. First it started as this weird pain right after eating, when ever I ate too much or really really greasy food. And I thought that my stomach was just hurting cos I ate so badly. And it was kinda true, except I didn't realize that the pain wasn't in my stomach, it came from my gallbladder. Its basically in the same place and height in the body so, the mistake was easy to make. But the pain always went away... So I didn't really think it was anything serious. Then it started to wake me early in the morning, like somewhere around 2 and 4am. But again, it went away for the first couple of times. After that came the first early morning when I woke to the pain, and it really didn't want to go away. I started to get nauseated, and I hate throwing up. I HATE IT. I will do almost anything else than throw up. And I just kept telling myself; "You do NOT need to throw up... You do not need to do it. You are going to get through this. It is just a feeling that will pass...". But then the pain got worse. And it just kept going and going. I went to the bathroom, didn't help. I drank some milk, didn't help. I started to get really desperate. It hurt soooo bad. So I thought that what if it stops hurting if I let the vomit come. I reaaaaally didn't want to but usually if you have some sort of infection in your stomach, throwing up usually makes you feel better cos the harmful stuff comes out. So it let it come... And IT DIDN'T HELP! Then I just started crying and woke up my mom by calling her cell. She said I should call a nurse and ask whats going on. The nurse couldn't say anything... And the pain was killing me. So I woke up my hobby and said that we need to go to the emergency room right now. And so we did. He drove me to the er, they took some blood and sent me to another hospital, then some ultrasounds and more blood etc etc... At that point the sun had already come up and thank god, the pain started to ease on me. We had to wait hours and hours to anyone even remember that I was there... But finally they came to tell me that I have gallstones and thats PROBABLY what caused the pain... Probably?... PROBABLY?! YOU THINK!?!? Pissed me off a little...
    So, then we go home. With no more information. They just said they can't do anything about it unless my gallbladder gets infected and I start having a fever. The funny thing was that I had been in fever for the past two days before the pain. And they just said that if it happens again, I just need to come back. That's all.
   About a week or two later, the pain again. Except, worse. Much much worse. I thought it couldn't be worse, but oh how wroooooong I was. It came faster, woke me up again. Started to get really bad really fast. And I knew that now we need to move and FAST! We got in the car and drove. And I was sure I was going to die... My god, seriously, it just got worse and I can't think of enough words to describe it. I was crying and moaning and I just felt that I couldn't take it anymore. And I've read that when it comes to gallstone pain, breathing deep can make the pain worse, but now, it was so bad what I had to start hyperventilating. It was the only thing keeping me alive. Cos while hyperventilating I got just a little lightheaded, and that helped me make it to the hospital.
Gallstone surgery
   The receptionist said to me; "Easy, you need to breath more slowly and calmly...", I just cried to her; "I FUCKING CANT!! THE PAIN IS TOO MUCH!!!". She just rolled her eyes at me! That bitch. But they put me in a wheel chair and took me to a bed, I was crying. The doctor came and gave me a pain medication, finally! And the pain stopped.... Finally. Tho that really made me lightheaded. I mean wow x) I didn't really like that feeling, but I was soooooo relieved that the pain was finally gone. Then the same tests as last time, some idiot ramming an ultrasound-thing to my ribs and some more blood and bla bla bla. Some more medication and bla bla. And now I'm in line to go into a surgery. And thats that. Now I'm just waiting for my surgery...
  There are other things that I need consider what it comes to my health right now, but I will fill those in later, like the concussion that I had and the possible heart problems etc etc. But this is what happened with the gallstones.
   I am glad tho that I know now what kind of food triggers the pain and I'm avoiding those as much as I can. No more eating really heavy food before bedtime etc. I mean I need to avoid these anyway, cos I'm trying to lose weight. And I have. I have lost weight, so yay for me :) But I need to continue. Its only faction from the amount of weight that I need to lose.
  Ok, I will end this post here, cos people might have trouble keeping any interest up, me just be blabbering about boring stuff xD So that's it about my gallstones :D Interesting as hell, I know :D

Later more about my dad and about my concussion.

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