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Friday, June 17, 2011

Rambling 03 I apologize... Wait, what.. NO I DO NOT!

The other day when I was planning in my head all the things that I would love to blog about, I noticed, that I started everything by apologizing the things I was about to talk/ramble about... Then I started to think about it a bit more. I mean, I have thought about it before this, but I started to think about it how I want to blog and about what do I want to blog about. Cos I know a lot of judgemental people, and during the years I've just learned to apologize beforehand when I'm about to speak my mind. Specially if it has anything to do with me getting so excited about things that my friends feel are stupid or childish. And that is not what this blog is about. I started this blog so I CAN blog about ANYTHING I want whenever I want, and as excited as I want and as stereotypical teen-fangirl-way as I want! The whole point of this blog to me is that I don't have to give shit what others think of me, and I can just freely express myself without holding anything back! If someone doesn't like it, then that is their problem and it is their decision whether they keep on reading or not. I did not start this to get as much readers as possible. I mean, I do want readers, cos I want to meet knew people, and I really like hearing others thoughts. But I won't shoot myself if I don't get some certain number of readers, or I won't become insanely famous with this blog.
   I want to express myself freely.  And a diary just isn't enough. I want to share all of my stupid little infatuations on everything! And I get A LOT of them, constantly. I just feel like shouting it to the world whenever I find something that inspires me or makes me happy, or horny or whatever. Yes, I said horny. When I say everything, I mean everything.
   I'm just so sick of apologizing my entire existense sometimes. I mean, I know that no one actually demands or expects this of me, but I don't exactly feel accepted as I am. And right now, actually, I feel that no one accepts me as I am. Everyone has some sort of a problem with me. Even myself. And now again, I feel like I should apologize for feeling like this. For feeling like nobody accepts me as I am. I just constantly have this feeling that I'm not allowed to feel as I feel, or it's somehow wrong.Well it stops here! Here, I'm allowed to feel whatever I feel, and say whatever I want! Damn it...
(from google)

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